Saturday, July 23, 2011

Schedule change

Just announcing a schedule change today. When I originally started this stei (all of 2 ½ weeks ago!) I planned for it being a 7-day-a-week kind of thing. This isn’t workng.

Saturdays in particular are a problem. Because of the unusual nature of my work schedule I am usually not what you’d call cogent on Saturdays. I work nights most of the week, and then on Saturday I need to be in at around 7 in the morning. This usually means I haven’t gotten a whole lot of sleep the night before.

I’ve tried to do me best while fried, but the fact is that the quality is going to be lower when i haven’t slept. Also, frankly, I need a break from time to time. I’m starting to get worn out, and so I’ve decided to scale back a bit. But ONLY a bit.

Saturdays are from now on going to be an “optional” day. If I have something to say I’ll say it. If I have a story to tell, I’ll tell it. From now on though don’t expect Saturday postings to be a regular occurrence.

The rest of the week will continue as normal. Sunday though Friday expect to see at least 250 words worth of content here, for better or for worse. Just as it has been, most days there will be more than that here.

For NaNoWriMo I might go back to the old schedule. As I mentioned previously NaNoWriMo is a marathon, and setting a pace is a big part of finishing it. For now though, or until I get the idea for the next “great American novel”, things will be just a tad quieter on the weekend.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Conceiving a novel

So, as I’ve previously mentioned, this blog was started in part to help me build habits. Those habits are geared towards one thing; successfully finishing the NaNoWriMo.org Novel in a month challenge. Needless to say, that challenge isn’t easy.

To successfully complete the challenge you need to complete a 50,000 word work in the month of November. Managing this requires averaging just under 1700 words a day. I can write that much fairly easily, but doing so repeatedly has been difficult. I’ll get distracted,think I can make the balance of a missed day up, and the the next thing I know I’m unable to finish.

There’s more to writing a novel than just writing of course. One of the big stumbling blocks I am concerned about this year is finding a story I feel I can reliably stretch to the full length. In the past I’ve had ambitious, multi-part stories that could easily go the distance. Usually i get some idea around May and then take the intervening time between then and the beginning of the contest to flesh out the details.

This year I’ve had no such idea. I’ve had story ideas (as evidenced by my previous entry, which went from conception to full-blown story in around 4 hours), but nothing I feel could make a full-blown book. I could try to resurrect one of my previous ideas, but that feels like cheating and I’m not in the same mindset that I was in when I started those stories.

They stories I have been writing lately have been short. They’ve also been fairly dark. In the last 2 months have been between 2000-7000 words and quite violent. I’d like to change both of those things for the NaNoWriMo challenge.

The story I started last year was a space exploration piece where the violence was incidental to the story being told. The three stories I’ve written recently have violence in some sort as a central feature. In trying to come up with an idea that I can stretch to a full-novel length I’ve been trying to escape my darker urges and find something I won’t find so depressing to write.

Maybe that’s my problem. Breaking out of a mindset is never easy. I don’t really feel all that depressed right now, but it seems that at least some small part of me is in a very dark place at the moment. While that does concern me, it does make me wonder if I would get a better story if I just went with my darker urges.

Well, we’ll have to see how this sort of thing goes. I do have the inkling of one story in mind, but I don’t think I could stretch it to the full length. I’m not sure it would be short enough to use as a blog entry. Perhaps soon we’ll see it up here as part of a multi-parter

Until then, I’ll just have to keep imagining.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Fiction: "Decay Dogs"

I had said before that I intended to post some fiction on this blog. I haven’t done so until now because I really hadn’t found a story I felt like writing. That changed tonight, and so I have a story to share with you.

I’m going for a sort of supernatural thriller with this one. I’m a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, and while I love the sense of dread he injects into his works, I’m not sure I could copy his sense of scope. Instead, I elected for something a little less cosmic. I hope it works.

This is a work in progress. Even after I post this I will lately make changes to it. I did proof-read it before putting it up, but only barely. Apologies in advance for the rough quality of the work.

Decay Dogs

I lay now in a hospital bed. For this I am grateful, since the alternative would be for me to lie on a coroner’s table. The way my previous night has gone, that is still possible.

Last night my body was subjected to the stresses of terror and trauma. What I experienced will haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter how short it may be. If death comes, it may be preferable to sleep, for when I sleep now I dream of eyes. God, those eyes.

Last night I went drinking. It is the heart of an August heat wave, when New England summers are at their most humid and brutal. Even at night the muggy air holds on to heat like a miser, making any home without benefit of air conditioning like sleeping in a wet dishrag. My own unit had broken, and rather than sit sweltering I had gone into the night to spend time with my fellow man and some whiskey over ice.

I was not scheduled to work today, and so i stayed out until beyond last call. I was pleasantly intoxicated, but not so drunk as to be a liability to myself. I had been smart enough to leave the car at home, and had simply walked the mile or so to my favorite tavern.

As the bar closed I wasn’t at all tired. I knew from experience I would be awake for several hours yet, and so I decided to take the scenic route home. The moon was full and unusually red, the color of a bright penny. The sky was filled only with patchy clouds and the sort of haze any humid night brings with it.

I walked for a while in the general direction of my home. The moon lay behind me, lighting my way. Ahead of me stood the carcass of a half-finished hotel silhouetted against the lights of the next street over.

The streetlights that had been back-lighting the hotel flicked out as I got closer. The orange light of the moon revealed a half-finished structure, un-clad walls revealing slabs of foam insulation intermittently covered by tattered housewrap. It has sat  that way for some time, as the developer who had hoped to finish it ran out of money.

During the day it looks forlorn. When it was new it looked to have all the potential of things being built. Now it looks pathetic, a forgotten symbol of an over-ambitious business plan.

At night it looks sinister. Light from the moon and from passing cars gleams off of broken glass where stones have been thrown through the windows. The torn housewrap blows in the breeze like the worn clothing of some sort of specter.

I have been afraid of the dark all my life. I would have been inclined to give the building a wide berth had I not been cheered by the recent company of good friends and strong drink. In my boldness I paid it no heed and strode forth.

From the other side of the building came a sharp, wheezing cry and a sudden odor. It was a familiar scent, the pungent stench of a skunk’s spray. I altered my path slightly to swing wide of the corner of the building so as not to draw the skunk’s ire. i had no desire to meet the same fate of whatever had just angered the thing.

I rounded the corner, keeping an eye out for the rodent. Instead of one animal I was greeted with two. Behind the building, in the shadows cast by the building a small terrier stood over the mauled form of the skunk. In the half-light of the shadow I could make out the black and white of the skunk’s fur, as well as the crimson red of its blood that streamed from a gaping wound in the skunk’s neck. A similar trail of red drooled from the terrier’s jowls as it looked up at me.

I stood transfixed for a moment. I was somehow hypnotised by the sight, even despite the near overwhelming stench given off by the skunk’s spray. The terrier looked at me, and  then off at something else in the direction from which I had come. After the pause it went back to its grisly meal.

The small dog ate, complete with squelching noises as it bit into its prey. It occurred to me to wonder what other thing the dog had been looking at. I cast a look over my shoulder to see the shape of another, larger dog behind me. It was completely still. By the light of the moon I could have mistaken it for a statue had I not just walked through the space it was currently occupying.

This dog was no purebred. Its coat was shaggy in places and bare in others from mange. Is hide was scarred and seeping wounds in its flanks matted the fur beneath them with old blood and other fluids. It was narrow but muscular like a doberman, but it’s snout was short and broad. By the light of the moon its eyes were pools of red, the color of blood. They had no iris and no pupil, but were still somehow possessed of hellish intelligence. Around the mouth was a foam of spittle, made pink either by the light of the moon or by something else.

The dog and I stood staring at each other. It seemed to be staring directly into my eyes. I averted mine, not wanting to meet this animal’s gaze and somehow provoke it. It began to pad towards me, head low in the posture of the hunter, but still completely silent.

I took one step backwards, then another. I raised my hands wide to it, to indicate I was no threat. It kept coming, still holding that same threatening posture. Still it did not growl or bark. The only sound it made was its over-long claws clicking on the concrete of the sidewalk.

I was walking backwards as quickly as I could without tripping over my own feet a this point, desperate to get away from this monster. I passed under a street light, and it came on, catching my attention. I glanced up at it, briefly distracted, and when I looked back at the dog it had a companion.

This one was a boxer, in even worse shape than its partner. Its flanks were matted and torn as well. More than that though the moon threw stark shadows into spaces where the outline of its ribs showed through its skin. A tooth from its lower jaw poked through a rent in its jowls.

Its eyes were also a bright, liquid red. It joined the first hell-hound in stalking towards me. They both stayed maddeningly silent, the click-clicking of their claws against the ground somehow more terrifying than any baying hound or snarling attack dog.

I turned to flee, adopting a measured pace to hold off a panicked chase. As I did so however I found another form emerging from a tall stand of grass in a nearby vacant lot. It was monstrous, nearly the size of a pony.

I hesitate to call it a dog. It might once have been part wolf, but no part of what then stood in my path was ever domesticated. Were it not for the pointed ears and narrow snout I might have mistaken it for a black bear.

Its fur was long and brushy and dull black, except for patches where mange showed bare skin. Unlike the other two this one had no open wounds on its hide whatsoever. Only a single scar showed, travelling down the face and muzzle of the beast in a white line of raised flesh that poked through the fur. It was jagged, like a lightning bolt. Its eyes were the same unnatural red as the others.

One of the patchy clouds slid over the moon. It's shadow changed the moon from a bright penny to a tarnished one. The streetlight over head flicked out. In the resurgent darkness the eyes of all three shone as though from an infernal flame.

There was no time for a measured pace. It was time to run. I fled down a side street, listening intently for sounds of pursuit. For a brief instant I thought that they had not chosen to follow me. A moment later though I heard the clickety-click of their claws on pavement through the gasping of my own breath and the pounding of my pulse.

I shoved my hand into my pocket as I ran, grasping for my cell phone. This was clearly beyond anything I could handle. It was time to call for help.

I jabbed my fingers at the numbers on the phone as I ran. I was about to finish dialing when my right foot plunged into the depression of a storm drain. I stumbled, crashing to my knees.

The phone went flying from my hands. It careened through the air and shattered as it came down to the ground. My hope of salvation was, literally, in pieces.. The clickety-click of my pursuers was drawing closer and closer, so I threw myself to me feet and continued to run.

I risked a look over my shoulder as the beasts came barreling up behind me. The cracked screen of my phone was still glowing, and I saw the boxer-creature swerve to avoid it. It seemed repulsed by the thing, or rather by the weak light that it cast.

Desperate for some sort of escape I sprinted onward, looking for some source of light that I might find safety in. All of the lamps were out on this street, but as I looked back towards the main thoroughfare I thought I spied a bit of illumination.

The dogs were still behind me and still growing closer. I expected that I would feel their breath on my back at any moment, but so far as I could tell they weren’t even panting. I wondered if they were toying with me.

I saw the a pair of headlamps from an oncoming car, and hoped then that I might be saved. I waved my arms at the driver frantically, only to feel a searing pain in my calf as one of the dogs tore into my leg and brought me down. Despite my desperation I tumbled sideways behind a line of bushes.

They were on me in an instant. I rolled on to my back to try to protect myself with me arms, but was rewarded only with bites deep into them from the smaller two dogs. They clamped on and shook their heads back and forth, rending my flesh. The larger beast stood back from the others. I could swear that I saw a look of amusement in his eyes while the other two tore into me.

The car that had been approaching passed, and I truly knew despair. I knew that I would die then. I knew that I was nothing more than meat to the pack of monsters.

I knew that they were toying with me. They savaged my arms. Their claws tore great gashes into my face and neck. Their mouths tore chunks of flesh from my chest and legs, but not once did they try to finish me.

Not once did they try to rip out my throat. Not once did they tear into my abdomen. Not once did they strike at places that would give me the quick release of death.

I don’t know how long that trio of demons tortured me. It might have been mere minutes. It might have been an hour. All I knew then was pain and hatred as they delighted in my misery.

As I lay there one car passed by, and then another. Each time the mangy pack would leave off tearing at me just long enough to crowd in behind the bushes, so as not to be seen. When I saw the lights of the third car near, I waited for them to pause long enough to crowd in, and then I took my chances.

Somehow I managed to force myself to me feet, and over the hedge. I want to tell you that I was able to run, or even jump to espace. What I did instead was to fall and stumble through a tiny gap in the hedge. Somehow I made it into the road, and saw two last things before giving in to unconsciousness. The first was the heavenly light of the oncoming car’s headlamps. The second was the horrified face of the driver as her car hit me.

I don’t remember what happened next. I know that the stunned motorist was quick enough to call for an ambulance to save my life. I have been told by my doctors that I was still speaking on the ride to the hospital. She told me that I raved about “demons” and “wolves” as I was brought to the hospital.

I will be here from some time. Even aside from the injuries I am being treated for I must also undergo a very painful series of injections to treat me for rabies. The whole town is in a panic now, looking for any animal that might be rabid so that others don’t share my fate.

I know better. No mere disease created that group of monsters that attacked me. They aren’t animals, at least not anymore. They might be demons, or evil spirits, or even possessed by the Devil himself, but they’re certainly not rabid. They knew and understood every single thing they did to me, and they delighted in it.
They’ll come looking for me again too. People think that I am crazy when I say it, but it’s true. They will come for me again as surely as the sun rises in the east.
I know this because of what I’ve seen. There is an empty lot across from the hospital I am now in. Last night when I awoke from a nightmare I looked out of my window at it. What is empty during the day holds something a night: a pair of glowing red eyes..

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Reading books in the modern era

I devoured books like no one else I knew when I was younger. At times I would go through as much as a book a day, or more. I don’t really read books as much as I used to.

This isn’t to say I don’t read. I read the equivalent of pages and pages of material. I have the contents of blogs and news sites delivered to me via RSS feed. I read Twitter and Facebook several times a day. I read forum posts and web articles about things that are of interest to me.

None of those are as satisfying as reading a book. Taking a science fiction or fantasy story from cover to cover used to be one of my favorite things to do. Reading up on a subject I’m interested in is always fulfilling. Somehow though I don’t read the way that I used to.

It’s probably a matter of timing. Reading a book is an investment. To get from one cover of book to another is an undertaking of hours if not days. Reading a blog post is a matter of a few minutes. Both have valuable content, but the book takes considerably more to get through.

It might be a matter of environment. Today we are bombarded by all sorts of media. I go through hours of media a day, in the form of podcasts, video reviews, and blog posts. I still get content from television and radio. All of these require attention to get anything from the content.

It certainly isn’t a matter on convenience. I carry a smartphone with me now everywhere I go. On this smartphone I have several reader apps that allow me to carry a virtual library with me consisting of dozens of volumes. I can get e-books with a few clicks of a mouse, either by paying to get them from a source like Amazon or Webscription, or for free from sites like Project Gutenberg or the Baen Free Library.

I started this blog in part to teach myself to write. Ultimately I would like to have the attention span and discipline to finish a work of novel length. May if I am very lucky I might be able to have a short story or novel published some day.

Because of that ambition I feel like I am somehow failing by reading full-length books less than I used to. By my count it has been over a month since i read my last book (the wonderful Stealing Speed). I have now been stuck a few pages into E. E. “Doc” Smith’s Triplanetary for at least two weeks. It’s time to get reading.

Special Thanks to Derek the Bard, who’s show has continued to show “Warning: Reader’s Advisory” has continued to show me the best and worst that books have to offer.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Timing and discipline

I feel a little bad trying to fit this in under the gun. I'm currently sitting here at close to midnight typing this post on my phone while sipping a margarita. It's been a long night, and one that is prevented me from posting as normal.

I normally post from work. There's a bit of quiet I usually get at night after the day side folks go home and before I need to start running reports. That is when I usually try to post, but tonight work was a bit busy and I didn't get to do what I wanted.

They say that it takes 21 days to make a new habit. I want to make writing a habit. To do that I feel like I need to get into a routine. It's hard to do that if I can't always use the time I've blocked out to write.

Accordingly, I'm considering changing my routine. I could do this before work. I usually have plenty of time and when I need to be at work. The problem then is that if I do go back to classes I would need to change my habits again. Also, I feel like I have more to say after a day of experiences.

Instead, I think I will be moving to a schedule where I post after I get home from work. I can use the opportunity to unwind while I write. More importantly I will be able to consider what I feel like saying without the pressures of whatever is going on at work.

For now I will try to keep things as they are while I consider. Most nights I shouldn't have the issues I have this evening, and it is still more convenient to post while sitting at my desk. I am open to suggestions.

Monday, July 18, 2011

A new look and AdSense

If you are bothering to read this blog at all, you’ll have noticed that today the page looks drastically different. I’ve decided to play around with the templates that Blogger has available to see if I can find a look a like a bit better.

This look probably isn’t permanent. I’m not really sure I like the colors (I’ve aways preferred the ones on the “cooler” side of the spectrum). I’m not really tied to the layout, and some of the spacing looks a bit clunky to me.

This isn’t intended to be a serious blog of any sort, so right now I’m pretty comfortable changing things around until I find a look I want. If you were on earlier today you probably noticed me playing around with a few of the templates to see if I could make something work.

Most important when choosing a look is, of course, readability. I tried a template earlier that looked pretty nifty, but was black text on a dark background. I don’t know who designed that template, but I’m pretty sure they hate people who like to read. The one I’m on right now (black text on a white background, in case I’ve changed it again since I posted this) is probably the sort of thing I’ll continue to use it in the future.

I’m ambivalent about the use of background images, but the books that are currently to either side of the content provide a level of texture that I think I like. Of all the things on the page right now though those books are the most likely to change. If nothing else I might change them to shot of books that are closer in color to what I like.

The last change, and hopefully the least obtrusive, is the inclusion of AdSense ads. I’ve decided to include them pretty much because I can. I’m not going to ask anyone who visits to click on them (that’s against AdSense’s policy), but I’d like to see if I can get a little extra cash out of this hobby if it is at all possible..

They’re not necessarily permanent. If I hear enough complaints about them I’ll likely pull them down. Since I’m not paying for this site to begin with, I don’t really need to worry about using them to offset the costs of hosting. Hopefully though I’ve made them unobtrusive enough that it won’t ruin people’s experience here.

Anyhow, feel free to let me know how you feel in the comments. I’m interested to know how many of you feel that advertising is a deal breaker. If you have suggestions for that, or any other element of the page, I’m interested to hear what you have to say.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The joy of cooking

I both love and hate to cook. When I feel like it cooking is a new experience every time. I can take an old recipe and try something new with it. I can learn to make something new that might become my new favorite dish.

When I don’t want to cook it’s a chore. Some times it’s hot and I don’t want to run the stove. Sometimes I’ve had a long day, and I just don’t feel like putting in the effort to cook. Sometimes There are just other things I’d rather be doing.

I try to cook as much as I can. The reason for this should be pretty obvious, since it’s considerably cheaper to cook for yourself than to live off takeout and restaurant food. It’s cheaper and better for you than eating frozen meals all the time. And of course it goes over well with others.

Mostly I cook once a week. I am single (I know, huge surprise), and it’s nearly impossible to cook only for one person. Instead I cook for a few days in advance, and then store the food for later use. I work nights at my job most of the week, so this cuts down on cafeteria time. It also gives me a higher quality meal (the food at the hospital I work at is good...for hospital food), and it ensures I always have something i want to eat.

It can get a bit monotonous. I generally cook anywhere from 4-6 dinners worth of food at once and eating the same dinner for a week straight is sometimes a bit boring. I try to spice things up by bringing different snacks with me, or by seasoning food different ways

My favorite time to cook is when it’s for a special occasion. I like making things for parties (my chicken wings are always well received) or for dates. I will some times cook for other just because I feel like cooking.

So, I’ve done my cooking for the evening. I made a rice and kielbasa dish that I made up on the spot and already like. Now though I’m on to looking for the next thing. Maybe for next week I’ll try some seafood.